Balance

I used to be quite the extremist. My husband will atest to the fact that I lived most of my life by the motto: "If you're going to go, go all out." Every thing had to be one way or another, black or white with no grey area. Every piece of newly restored revelation about GOD that I discovered led me on a frantic dive into it that made me forget everthing else. From an outsider's point of view, I could have been seen merely as starving for a truth that simply wasn't available to me before, but from the inside, it was more than hunger that fueled me, it was pride. It was pride because once I devoured the knowledge and absorbed it into myself, I thought a little less of those around me that didn't have this particular piece to the grand puzzle. The new bit of knowledge somehow made me a little better than everyone else.

Let me start at the beginning...
A few months ago, I got onto some Christian message posting sites - to do some research on a paper I was writing. I thought I could get some insight and surveys on what the typical American believer thinks about various topics opposed to the world's mindset. I was shocked by the responses I got. Taking into consideration the physical and spiritual ages of those who commented, I was completely surprised by how much of the Christian community is so ignorant of God's Word, or more accurately, holding much tighter to their personal opinions and traditions than to what the Bible actually says. As I looked deeper into the posts, I discovered that many of those who thought this way were pastors, teachers, or older people who had been saved and in church their whole lives, from nearly all denominations across the board, as well as teens and young adults and people recently saved. There were very few people posting that had true spiritual wisdom, and I certainly pray that those who don't have true spiritual wisdom will stop posting as if they do until they do, for the sake of everyone reading them.

Anyway, the viewpoints ranged from one extreme to the other - and quite adamantly too. The few who responded in calm conviction with comments that lined up with Scripture, were also presenting a middle ground, an even balance to all the excessive opinions. A place where every point fit perfectly together in moderation with it's opposite view, and God's heart on the matter was clearly displayed. But these voices were far too few and were swallowed up in the majority. At first, I thought "Wow, what a ministry opportunity!" I thought maybe I could contribute to the minority group and be a blessing to all those souls who are misinformed, and the unending sea of those who needed help drew me in. But I soon discovered that the majority of Christians posting didn't want to be informed, they wanted others to believe the way they did, regardless of what God's Word says. No one wanted to compromise or find a real solution to the issues. No one wanted to put their own opinion down to take up the truth. Not my "truth", they weren't rejecting truth according to Jé, they were defending their own preferences to anyone who posted the straight up truth of God's Word! They wanted unity and agreement - on their terms, not on God's. After a while, the weight of their attitudes and constant fighting annoyed and frustrated me beyond what I could handle and I disappeared from the message board sites. Not even sure that I wasn't there in my own strength anyway (as in God didn't specifically instruct me to spend time there in ministry), I retreated to reflect and mourn for the state of American Christianity. What are the church leaders in America teaching their people? Anything at all? Not according to the hundreds of people posting their points online.

Finally it hit me. It was a symptom of a deeper rooted problem that I should have well recognized to begin with - pride. These people grew up being taught one thing, or experiencing something else, that led them to certain conclusions. Maybe there was a Scripture that was taken out of context or used to feed a particular bias - but the effect of such a long or dramatic worldly lessons drove whatever it was into their identity. It was something that made them feel better than someone else.To compromise or even really listen and learn from each other was offensive to their ego. For myself, I saw that pride must be a common childhood sickness in the church, for which few churches know how to treat, and instead they just let it run it's course to whatever end - getting better or getting worse.

Over the years, as I have sought God at nearly any cost, He has allowed such things to come at me to tear down my walls of pride and I have correspondingly moved from being an extremist to being much more balanced. The more I know of God, the more I know that I am nothing without Him. The one piece of truth that I have come to deeply live by is that God is Supreme. His Word and wisdom stand forever. He is always right and powerful, faithful and unchanging, and He is merciful beyond imagination, and I in myself am none of these things. God is equally balanced - loving & just, wise & mighty, forever & present. I will always strive to balance my life completely based on God's Word according to the Spirit and not on human reasoning and motive. I'm so joyful and humbled that God can use me, the weak vessel as I am, to pour the truth out to others that He pours into me. No matter what gifts or revelations I receive from God, I am nothing more than a servant to Him and to whoever He sends me, and that is a far sweeter life to me than all I could be or achieve on my own!

Those who know God's Word, and are submitted to the Holy Spirit to teach them and lead them into all truth, should encourage other believers to do likewise. When we take in God's Word taught directly to us by the same Holy Spirit and not by people, then we will all reach unity in the faith and all other differences within the Church body will resolve themselves. God works in the heart, and when you humble yourself before Him, you can hear His instruction without letting too much of yourself get in the way. Jesus is the Head of His church and we, as believers, are all a family - we should be growing up strong in Him, not stumbling over and over again on our own toys, and not fighting with each other. I pray that we get there one day.